Thursday, March 17, 2011

WISDOM FROM THE TABLOIDS

Okay, I’m a sucker…or I was a sucker. Fifteen years ago, while waiting in a grocery line, I was reading one of those tabloids next to the cashier’s aisle. I turned to the back page, noticing all the personal ads, taking pity on all those pathetic people who put in an ad, hoping to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, who no doubt likes long walks on the beach.
Two weeks later, I put in ad in a tabloid paper!
Well, I didn’t exactly do that. Not really. Okay, what I did do was focus on ads selling recipes. Did you know people sell recipes in the tabloids?? I didn’t. But it was a WOW moment. Golly gee, I had my grandmother’s chocolate cake recipe! And if I paid for an ad, I figured with the tabloid’s two million readers, I could easily turn a profit, even with a decimal of a percent return. I’d be in the money!! (First rule: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.)
I grabbed my grandmother’s recipe and took it to the printer and had beautiful recipe cards made up with my very special log cabin logo. Cha-Ching: $75.00. I then spent another $200.00 for a two sentence ad in the tabloid, where I charged $2.00 for each recipe card. I even went so far as to open a separate post office box, anticipating a flood of incoming envelopes with sweet little two dollar bills tucked inside each one.
Okay, the ad went in a couple weeks later. I picked up a copy of the tabloid for that week and I have to tell you, my excitement was through the roof. How could I possibly lose?? After all, how many women out there are just waiting to read the personal ad section of a tabloid to find the ultimate chocolate cake recipe??? Duh and double duh. (Second rule: If wishes were horses, then beggars could ride.)
It took about one week before the envelopes started flooding into my post box. I kid you not. The first time I opened the post box it was stuffed, yes, I said stuffed, with envelopes. Dollar signs floated inside my head. How easy was this? Lordy, I had at least twenty or thirty more recipes I could advertise and trade for cash!! I loaded everything from the post box into my carry bag, nearly breaking my neck to get back to the car and open the first envelope! At this point, I was nearly salivating with greed. I eagerly ripped open the first envelope, then another and another and another, and so on and so forth. My excitement quickly went downhill. Every envelope, and I do mean every envelope, contained a letter from someone trying to sell ME something. It was an ah-ha moment.
Now, today, here on my blog, I am giving you that same recipe!!! For FREE. So, when you make this cake, remember the lesson I learned from the tabloids: Don’t be an idiot!!! On the other hand, feel free to send me two bucks. Ah, just kidding.
IVALO’S (my Grandmother’s) CHOCOLATE CAKE
Sift into bowl:
3 cups flour 2 tsp. soda
2 cups sugar 2 tsp. baking powder
6 T. cocoa 1 tsp. salt
Add:
2 cups water 2 T. vinegar
2/3 cup oil 1 T. vanilla
Beat well. Grease and flour two 9 inch cake pans. Bake at 350 deg.
30 to 35 minutes
FROSTING
1 stick (1/2 cup) butter 3 cups powdered sugar
2/3 cup Hershey’s Cocoa 1/3 cup milk
1 tsp. vanilla
Melt butter. Stir in cocoa – alternately add powdered sugar and milk, beating on medium speed to spreading consistency. Add more milk, if needed. Stir in vanilla. Makes about 2 cups of frosting.

1 comment:

  1. Welcome back, girlfriend! I was thrilled to see your name and blog come up on my dashboard, or where ever it comes up. Love the picture of the porch. Can't wait to be on it sipping tea or whatever.
    Very funny blog and look forward to trying the cake.
    Love ya, Barb
    Blessings to you and the Mister.

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